Marauders on the Prankfloor
by Witty Eagle Proud Ravenclaw
Summary: Just a normal - OK, crazy - day in the life of the Marauders and Lily, in which notes are passed, Lily shows her wand skills, James pulls a prank of epic proportions, Remus constantly kicks people under the table, and Sirius is nearly set on fire. Review!


**Marauders on the Prankfloor**

**Author Note:**** Am I Joanne Kathleen Rowling? Nope. It's not mine, then. This is my second Marauder-era story that I've written, and as I mentioned in the first of that ilk that I wrote, this one shows a causal day in their lives. But Wormtail will be exempt. So only the three true Marauders (and of course, lovely Lily) remain at the focus. James and Lily are platonic friends here in sixth-year, nothing more. Who says you can't blur the lines? **

James Potter slowly opened his hazel eyes as the beams of sunlight hit his face.

"Bugger..." he moaned. He moved his body sideways in the process of lifting it out of bed, and the bedsprings squeaked. He sensed the emptiness of the dorm. Sirius and Remus were absent. The Potter child glanced at his bedside clock. Eight forty. Cursing, he got dressed and thundered down to the Great Hall.

"What kept you?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes cocky.

"Not really in the mood, Pads." James mumbled, rubbing his eyes of sleep. Sirius still had_ that _expression. James couldn't figure out why Sirius was being so overboard.

"Surprise!" Lily exclaimed, half-hugging James from behind. James turned around and his eyes met Lily's green ones. He beamed. Sirius coughed, looking expectantly at Lily. James looked at Sirius, shaking his head slightly.

"Hands off my wonderfully platonic friend, Padfoot." he said. Lily fidgeted.

"Not annoying you, is he?" Remus said, walking over. James nodded. "Sirius..." Remus trailed pointedly.

"But _Moooony_!" Sirius pleaded. Remus shook his head.

"Sometimes we're at the end of the rope with your antics." the werewolf commented.

James nodded in agreement. Sirius threw him a look.

"Lils, help me." James fake-pleaded, ruffling Lily's hair. Sirius was about to say something, but Lily silenced him with a non-verbal _Silencio_. James pulled Lily close and laughed with her in unison. Sirius' eyes bugged out and he made hand gestures. "Oh quiet down, Sirius." James chuckled. Lily high-fived him and Remus grinned. Sirius gave him another look. "Oh, I forgot. You already are quiet. Ahhh, peace at last." James laughed. Lily tickled him. "Lil... geroff!" he pouted. Sirius was giving Lily a slight grin. "Hey James." a slightly timid voice muttered. James squirmed out of Lily's grip.

"Oh hey Alice. Oh no, let me guess. Some fellow Gryffindors are teasing you." he claimed. Alice Fortescue nodded.

"Teasing me about Frank..." she trailed, a blush donning her cheeks.

"Right! Tell me the accusers' names and I'll sort them out. You and Frank are great together and anyone who mocks you probably can't find love themselves." James proclaimed. Alice beamed and walked off. Lily grinned and squeezed James slightly.

"Since when were you so deep, mister?" the redhead pondered.

"Since always. I've always been a hopeless romantic, my dear." James smiled.

"More like hopeless joker." Lily giggled. "_James!_" she shrieked with laughter as the messy-haired boy tickled her. Sirius gave James a look and mouthed 'hopeless romantic' mockingly. James retaliated with a death glare. Remus stayed silent. Sirius instantly rounded on the werewolf. Remus' reaction was to give a 'what?' look. Just to irk the others, the dog Animagus undid Lily's Silencing Hex.

"It's always the quiet ones." he muttered. Then one of his dorm-mates appeared. "Look who it is." James smiled. Frank Longbottom shrugged. "You just missed her, Frankie-boy." the prankster continued. Frank gave James a slightly wary look. "I'm not against you. On the contrary, I think you and Alice are terrific."

"Thanks James. I hope things turn out for you in a certain aspect." Frank replied, slipping James a slight wink. Sirius and Remus' sniggers were unsuccessfully trying to be masked as hacking coughs. James could only resort to extreme face-palming.

"Who knew, huh?" Remus pondered.

"I guess he overheard us." Sirius reasoned. "Whose fault is that?" he continued. James groaned - maybe he had a tendency to spiral verbally a bit in the dorm.

"What did Frank overhear?" Lily asked. Before Sirius or Remus could tell her, they were both submitted to a non-verbal Silencing Charm from James. Both of their mouths made shouting movements. If they were able to talk, James would bet they would be bellowing 'PRONGS!'

"Just some Marauder code is what he might have heard." James said dismissively.

"How apt. Most of the chit-chat in the girls' dorm concerns him." Lily laughed.

"Alice prompts it, perchance?" James questioned despite knowing the answer.

"She loves him like crazy." Lily smiled.

"In all honesty, it is really sweet. I might tease Alice by whispering 'Alice Longbottom' in her ear in future." James snickered. Lily shook her head and looked at him. "Oh no. Anything but... Lils... Lily, please!" James demanded, desperation in his eyes.

"Haha! I'm not going to do anything!" Lily laughed. Remus sighed, countering James' hex. Sirius agreed with the sigh with a nod, also undoing the hex.

"You dragged yourself out late today." the redheaded beauty grinned. James shrugged. He looked at Lily, wanting to do nothing less than kiss her fully.

"Well I'm not an early bird like you." he beamed. Behind the Quidditch freak's back, Sirius was making vomiting faces.

Remus silently dragged him the Black heir to his first lesson of the day, despite the heir's noisy protests. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw this and thanked Remus with his eyes. Remus nodded.

"Why is Remus dragging Sirius away to your Transfiguration lesson? He has Arithmancy with me first and he knows that." Lily pondered.

"You know what Sirius is like." James replied. He made the 'crazy' hand gesture. Lily laughed and high-fived him. James chuckled and grinned. "Mm-hm. He'll roam around the castle when left to his own devices. Madness. Now I should get going to Transfiguration." he smiled, half-hugging Lily as he got up. Lily smiled back as she got up too to walk off to Arithmancy. When James sat down in Transfiguration, he received a note in Sirius' scruffy handwriting. _Chatting up the lovely Prongsette?_ James was fuming. He scribbled back _Oh will you please get stuffed Padfoot?_

"Touchy, James?" Sirius whispered. Then a stern voice sounded.

"Mr. Black! Stop whispering and focus in my lesson!" McGonagall demanded. Sirius hung his head in defeat while James' shoulders ached with pent-up silent laughter.

As McGonagall went back to teaching, Alice's eyes locked on James. He felt it, and turned around. She did the 'OK' signal and smiled, trying not to crack a laugh. James was doing the same, stuffing his hand in his mouth. As the bell rang, Remus and Lily were in the Transfiguration corridor on their way to the Great Hall, as they had scarpered off early.

"Why are you two out so early?" Sirius questioned. Remus grinned.

"Good behaviour."

"I only wish these two_ fugitives _had been behaving." Sirius muttered, inclining his head towards James and Alice, who were laughing and trying to look innocent.

"Who, us?" the guilty duo said in unison. "Fugitives? Sirius, you've snapped."

"I saw you two. C'mon, admit it Alice, before I squeal to Frank about your sneaky side." Sirius threatened with a comedic look on his face and a glint in his eye. Alice blushed faintly. Remus looked at James questioningly.

"Fine. We were ganging up on Sirius on Transfiguration." James muttered as they walked into the Greatt Hall and made grand entrances onto the Gryffindor table.

"Innocence is a thing of the past with you then?" a voice joked behind Alice. Sirius made a face. Remus glared at him for lack of tact.

"Of course not Frank. Sirius was being, well, himself and James and I saw the opportunity to calm him down." Alice giggled. Frank sat down and hugged her. "Eewww." Sirius grumbled. James discreetly nodded to Lily. The green-eyed know-it-all then proceeded to hit Sirius on the head with some force.

"Owww!" the injured soul complained, rounding on James.

"You lot..." Frank trailed, contemplating the chaos that the Marauders (and Lily) often made. Alice grinned a lovesick grin and squeezed his shoulder.

"Good grief." Sirius muttered, prompting a kick from Remus.

"Ah!" James screamed, giving Remus the evil eye. Remus suddenly looked guilty.

"It was accidental, I swear."

"Yeah, yeah... sometimes I feel like running away with Lily so we can both get away from your mischief." James proclaimed.

"Mischief? Excuse me, who's the constant wisecracker?" Remus asked, deadpan.

"My wisecracks are-"

"Awful."

"James always manages to make me laugh." Lily cut in, eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Thank you Lils. See? There is_ one _person that thinks I'm funny. And she's the only person whose opinion matters." James beamed with a massive grin. Sirius face-palmed, Remus shook his head with a slight smile and Alice raised an eyebrow. Sirius muttered something in Alice's ear and her eyebrow flew up.

"James... may I have a word?" she grinned.

"After I murder Sirius." James muttered, his lips barely moving.

"Empty threat, empty threat." Sirius sang, sharing a grin with Lily.

"So how would you like to leave this world, Padfoot?" James growled.

"James, be reasonable-" Remus tried, but James didn't hear him.

"I would like to go out in a blaze of glory." Sirius smirked. James raised his wand.

"Very _well_." the bespectacled boy whispered. "Incendio!" Sirius then let out a very girly scream and ducked. Alice was trying not to chuckle, Frank was fighting a smile, and Remus and Lily were in fits of hysterics.

"Only you would do the fire spell when you hear 'blaze of glory'." Remus chuckled.

"Well Sirius was lucky he wanted a hot death, or I would have murdered him in cold blood." James whispered. Remus resisted a large eye-roll.

"Figure of speech Prongs, but I appreciate the humour involved." the werewolf said.

"Come on you, we have to crack down on homework." Frank mused. Alice pouted.

"But_ Fraaank! _I haven't had my vital vitamin!" she whined. Frank huffed comically.

"Vital vitamin?" Frank pondered. Alice's eyes lit up, as did James', Remus' and Lily's.

"Chocolate!" the four bright-eyed chocoholics suddenly screamed in tandem.

"Merlin, you four always scuttle about when it comes to chocolate." Sirius groaned.

"Scuttling about like tarantulas?" James pondered. Lily beamed.

"Crazy..." Alice whispered, but James heard her and gave her a look. Alice laughed her bubbly laugh. Remus accidentally kicked James again.

"Ambush! Man down!" the hazel-eyed boy screamed. "Alice, you're in trouble."

"Why me? Why not-" Alice started.

"Remus is always in trouble. It had to fall on someone else." Sirius interrupted.

"You can talk." James declared. "You're always causing unholy chaos."

"Stop blaming me then." Sirius stated. Lily quietly snickered. Sirius rolled his eyes. "You are in _no_ position to snicker. Prongs, don't defend her." he subtly winked.

James then dragged Sirius off to a secret passage and cast_ Petrificus Totalus _and _Silencio _on the little bugger, taking his wand away. At the end of the final lesson, Remus retrieved the Marauders' Map out of curiousity, shocked with what he saw.

"James, why is Sirius in one of the passageways?"

"I stowed him away in there. Just a harmless prank."

"And you say I'm sneaky. Right, we have get to him out." Remus ordered.

"It's only fair." Lily agreed, who had overheard all this.

"Awww..." James moaned, grumbling all the way to the passage. "My plan was _foolproof_. I trapped him completely. There was_ no _way of him getting out!" When they reached their destination, Sirius looked at James with venom, waving his hands near his mouth. Lily was bent double by this sight. James hugged her and smiled.

"Why did you do that?" Sirius screamed, now able to speak thanks to Remus.

"Harmless prank?" James grinned uneasily. Sirius stared long and hard.

"Maybe you went overboard." he said stiffly.

"Yeah, maybe. Sorry mate. Just wanted to make sure you weren't going off the wall."

"Evidently. Why didn't you just force-feed me?" Sirius asked half-jokingly.

"Because that would be just plain downright evil." James replied.

"Depends whether that person put on any weight afterwards." Lily pointed out.

"I wish I had your metabolism, my dear." James chuckled, a look in his eyes.

"Looks like we're in for it." Sirius muttered to Remus, who supressed a laugh.

"Why do you naturally assume I'll grill you two?" James queried.

"Simple. You act all bubbly and then later you grill us. Everyday." Remus said.

"Load of Hippogriff dung." Lily smiled, inching closer to James as he said the password to the Gryffindor common room. "James never gets mad."

"He doesn't show his temper in front of you." Sirius reasoned logically.

"The git's just joking. He's not being serious." James guffawed. Lily fainted with laughter. But by chance this fit of laughter interrupted two fellow Gryffindors.

"Would you mind? We're trying to focus." Frank said, his arm around Alice.

"_Focus_ all you want." James grinned, nearly in pain from restraining silent laughter. Lots of fun transpired, including the Marauders trying to plan pranks, and Lily trying - and failing - to stop said plans.

One of them was turning the mealtime gravy boats into realistically-sized boats filled with gravy (a joint chuckle from Frank and Alice was overheard at this idea). After a half-hearted scuffle between Sirius and Remus, Lily agreed to let the gravy idea go through. James hugged her after that. Remus didn't bother to comment, but Sirius was muttering undistinguishable words. Lily hexed him.

"Finally!" James and Alice cheered, the latter snuggling into her boyfriend.

"Lily Evans you'll pay for this..." Sirius groaned. James turned around to face him.

"Not on my watch. Hold your tongue, Sirius, or I'll pound you." the Potter child implied. "Don't worry Lils. I've always got your back." A tremendous yawn came from Remus.

"That settles it. I'm off." he sighed, desparate for sleep. The others decided to join him, but not without a 'Come on Frank, leave Mrs. Alice Longbottom alone' from James and a nervous smile from Alice after her goodnight kiss with Frank.

"You guys go up. I'll be up in a sec." James said. "Lily!" he called. Lily's head peeked around the top of the staircase. James grinned. Lily sighed happily and walked down. "Night Lils." James smiled, hugging her slender frame. Lily beamed and departed with a wave. "It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside..." James hummed as he went off to the dorm.

**AN: I had fun writing this one - all my inner Marauder truly came out after getting into their mindset. I think it's slightly better than the last Marauder-era one-shot I wrote because I had a definitely fleshed-out idea this time, but I'll let you readers (and hopefully REVIEWERS) be the judges. The title, 'Marauders on the Prankfloor', is an intentionally bad pun on the Sophie Ellis-Bextor song 'Murder on the Dancefloor', since the song in question is one of my all-time favourite songs ever. The fluff written in this piece came to me naturally - especially since I've been a bit cunning and gone and based Frank and Alice on a couple I know in real life. That's why their bits are comical yet sweet.**


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